When Rest Feels Like Failure: Challenging Athletic Perfectionism with Eating Disorder Therapy in Cherry Hill, NJ
For many athletes, rest feels like a sign of weakness. Athletes have this “go go go” mentality, where pushing our bodies is seen as the best way to improve. Perfectionism runs high, as many compare how they push their bodies to others. However, athletic perfectionism can distort how rest is perceived, especially for those struggling with an eating disorder. Here we are going to explore how perfectionistic mindsets develop in sport, how they fuel disordered behaviors, and how eating disorder therapy in Cherry Hill, NJ, can help athletes reframe rest as a vital part of both recovery and performance.
The Root of Perfectionism in Athletes
Early messages in sport are perceived by those around us, including coaches and parents. The culture often praises a relentless drive and sacrifice for sport. I remember receiving many messages throughout my years of competing that pain was good. I was told that pushing through the pain was part of improving. As a young kid, learning how to navigate my relationship with sport, this gets confusing!
The longer we participate in a sport, the more it becomes part of our identity. However, this becomes complicated when athletes learn to equate their performance with self-worth. In college, I remember my coach telling us to do a long run on Sundays, after a Saturday race. My body often felt exhausted and beat up, but listening to my body and taking a rest day felt like I would be falling behind my teammates or not being disciplined enough.
Athletes are often high achievers, and it can be easy to feel validated through getting personal bests, medals, or rankings. Suddenly, they may find themselves only feeling worthy when accomplishing certain standards. Perfectionism is the constant chasing of “enough” that never seems to come.
When Rest Feels Unsafe
When your identity is so intertwined with your sport, rest can feel like a threat to how you view yourself as a person. Without a training goal or performance metric, athletes feel lost and unproductive. This is often seen when an athlete is experiencing an injury and experiences panic and guilt during their recovery process.
Rest can be viewed as “laziness”. Beliefs about oneself turn into self-criticism. That injured athlete suddenly feels less than, because they are not out there training with peers. It is easy to fall into the comparison trap with teammates posting about workouts, leading to further guilt around rest, with fears of falling behind.
The Link Between Perfectionism and Eating Disorders in Athletes
When perfectionism takes over, athletes will find themselves wanting to do anything to improve their performance. Control and rigidity around training and food can feel like a way to control performance results. From the inside, perfectionism feels like dedication.
As an eating disorder therapist in NJ, I have observed that the cost of never resting can lead to both physical and psychological collapse. Burnout, injury, or even an increase in mental health concerns start to creep in. I often see that an athlete trying to gain control actually ends up losing control even more. For example, a fear of “failure” may lead to overexercising and underfueling, resulting in injury.
How Eating Disorder Therapy in Cherry Hill Helps Athletes Challenge Perfectionism
Like I said above, perfectionism can feel like a way to control the results in sport. In eating disorder therapy, you work on identifying the perfectionistic voice. This is sometimes also called your “inner critic”. Challenging the inner critic by tracking guilt around rest days and the beliefs beneath it can help you separate the inner critic from your core self.
Exploring your values beyond achievement is another intervention to help athletes reconnect with who they want to be as a person and an athlete. Naming 5 aspects of identity that are not performance-based can help you see who you are outside of just the number on the clock or the points on the scoreboard.
Another skill that helps build resilience in and outside of sport is distress tolerance. Radically Open Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, or RO-DBT, helps teach skills for sitting with imperfection and uncertainty. Exposure of difficult emotions, a little at a time, helps build trust between the mind and body, showing that just because something is uncomfortable, it doesn’t mean it is wrong.
Lastly, redefining rest as recovery helps shift the mind. Getting education around how rest supports performance and healing can help start the shift from “rest is failure” to “rest is fuel”. Sometimes athletes benefit from writing down how they feel after a day of great sleep and fueling for evidence on how it impacted performance.
Rebuilding a More Compassionate Athletic Identity
Shifting the narrative from perfect to sustainable can feel uncomfortable. However, long-term performance and health depend on the ability to balance in the present moment. Learning to celebrate the process through the journey and not the outcome is a helpful shift. This may look like asking yourself the following question: “How did I show up for myself this week?”.
Creating support systems that value your whole person is important. Having coaches and teammates who deconstruct the grind culture and normalize things like mental health check-ins, and not just PRs.
Conclusion from an Eating Disorder Therapist in New Jersey
Rest is not failure. In fact, it is a courageous act of recovery and resilience against toxic perfectionism within sports culture. At Serendipity Counseling Services, athletes can learn to trust their own bodies, loosen rigid expectations, and still thrive. If you are an athlete in NJ struggling with rest, control, or identity, eating disorder therapy can help you redefine strength on your own terms.
Allow Yourself to Rest with Eating Disorder Therapy in Cherry Hill, NJ
When perfectionism pushes you to keep going, no matter the cost, rest can feel like weakness. But recovery isn’t about giving up. It’s about coming home to your body and redefining what strength really means. At Serendipity Counseling Services, we offer eating disorder therapy in Cherry Hill, NJ that honors your experience as an athlete and supports you in creating a more sustainable, compassionate relationship with food, movement, and self-worth.
Here’s how to begin:
Schedule a free 15-minute consultation to explore your goals and get a feel for whether we’re the right fit.
Book your first eating disorder therapy session and start untangling the beliefs and pressures that are keeping you stuck.
Rebuild your foundation from the inside out, one grounded in rest, nourishment, and self-respect, not perfection.
More Support at Serendipity Counseling Services in New Jersey
Alongside offering eating disorder therapy for athletes in Cherry Hill, NJ, I provide specialized care for runners and actively work to raise awareness around the impact of diet culture in sports. Through public speaking engagements and advocacy, I aim to foster change and reduce stigma around disordered eating in athletic communities.
I also lead the Retired Athlete Support Group, an online space for former athletes to reflect on their time in sport, explore life after competition, and reconnect with themselves in a supportive, nonjudgmental environment.
To further support recovery, I provide family-based therapy for those who want to strengthen communication, foster understanding, and build a more supportive home environment during the healing journey.
Meet the Author: An Eating Disorder Therapist in New Jersey
Kate Ringwood is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the founder of Serendipity Counseling Services, where she specializes in supporting athletes in Cherry Hill, NJ, through eating disorder therapy. As a former competitive runner, Kate offers firsthand insight into the pressures that come with sport, especially around performance, body image, and food relationships.
Her approach blends clinical expertise with empathy and personal experience, creating a welcoming environment where clients can work toward healing and self-acceptance. Outside of her therapy work, Kate is an active voice in the field, speaking at events and joining podcast conversations to raise awareness about disordered eating, sports culture, and mental health.
