Strong, Not Broken: Redefining Identity After Eating Disorders in Athletes
Athletes enjoy pushing their body. They often have a high pain tolerance and high internal motivation. Eating disorder recovery sometimes feels like losing the version of themself that they built around performance, control and endurance. However, it is important to reframe recovery as identity reconstruction, not failure. Athletes in eating disorder recovery are not broken, they are learning a truer definition of strength. One the requires balance, sustainability and flexibility.
How the Athletic Identity Forms and Why It is So Powerful
When you are a kid and you first start to enjoy a sport, the praise is often connected to performance. When you hit the first ball in Tball or you nail the first backhandspring in gymnastics, it feels so amazing to get the hug or high-five from others. As you get older, being “the athlete” with your group of friends becomes your primary identity. It teaches you discipline, pain tolerance and self-sacrifice. And it feels good to work hard at something and feel accomplished. These traits can build both exellence and fuel eating disorders.
When the Eating Disorder Hijacks Athletic Identity
Disordered behaviors are often masked as commitment and grit. Restriction of certain food groups can be viewed as being dedicated and over-exercising is seen as hardworking. It becomes confusing to tell the difference between mental toughness and self harm. External validation such as praise for weight loss, leanness or this “discipline” only increases the disordered behaviors are health, eligibility and relationships are the cost.
Grieving the Old Definition of Strength
Grief is a big part of the healing process, whether it is grieving the body you once thought you needed or the athlete you thought you were. The thoughts and beliegs you have around the person you once thought you had to be, shift. Suffering no longer means success? Worth doesn’t come from output? Working on shifting your mindset and making space for the sadness that comes, wtihout turning back to the disorder, is also a part of healing.
Redefining Strength After an Eating Disorder
Many people, especially athletes, view strength as toughness and rigidity. However, recovery shows you how to shift stregnth to responsiveness and flexibility. Learning to listen to your body is a trust it when it provides you cues such as hunger, fatigue or irritability. Choosing rest and nourishment as intentional acts is a skill that takes strength to learn. Being able to adapt instead of control requires flexibility, which allows for variation in training, food and performance. Building trust with your body after betrayal and fear is not easy. It takes practice, patience and the ability to seperate body cues from the eating disorder noise.
Expanding Identity Beyond Performance
Developing a sense of who you are is an important step that can be difficult for many. Identifying what your top values are creates diversity around who you are and protects your mental health and longevity in sport. Being an athlete is part of your identity, but not all of it. Whether you value dedication, love, or balance, these values help you be a better version of yourself on and off the field.
Returning to Sport (or Not): Both Are Valid
Eating disorder therapy does not always require you to quit your sport. It also does not mean that if you return, you are returning the same athlete as when you left. Every recovery path has a different journey and none are right or wrong. You may return with new boundaries, switch roles, or chose life beyond a competitive sport. It is important to define success on your own terms.
Finding the Support That Builds Your Identity in Eating Disorder Therapy
Working with professionals for eating disorder therapy, who understand eating disorders in athletes is extremely important. There are many different approaches that sport identity work, such as CBT, ACT, or RO-DBT. A registered sports dietitian and eating disorder therapist who works with eating disorders in athletes plays a role in rebuilding trust and performance through recovery as well. It takes a team of supports to find the care you need and you deserve to find the ones that work best for you.
Serendipity Counseling Services offers individual therapy for eating disorders in athletes. We work to create a safe space for any type of athlete to build their identity and feel strong in who they are. To find out if we are the right fit for you, follow these steps:
Schedule a free 20 minute consultation call.
Get to know Kate and schedule the first session.
Start your journey to self identity outside of your eating disorder!
If you are looking for different types of support, check out our blog full of tips and tricks on the recovery process for athletes, as well as featured eating disorder podcasts. Looking for group support? Check out our “retired” athlete support group for those looking to redefine their relationship with sport.
Conclusion: You Were Always Strong
Recovery doesn’t erase athletic strength, it refines it. Strength isn’t lost, it is reclaimed in a healthier, long-lasting form. Identity can evolve without disappearing. You are strong, not broken.
About the Author: An Eating Disorder Therapist in Cherry Hill
Kate Ringwood is a passionate eating disorder specialist that works closely with athletes of all abilities. She guides folks through finding their identity on and off the field after feeling lost for so many years in the world of diet culture. Kate sees clients virtually for eating disorder therapy in Cherry Hill, NJ, PA, VT, FL, MD and AZ.
