How Parents Can Support an Athlete in Eating Disorder Therapy
As a parent, when you find out your child is struggling, it is confusing, overwhelming and scary. Your child may be the one that you typically did not feel the need to worry about. Maybe they are high-achieving and motivated, so it feels like it doesn’t make sense. Parental support can significantly impact recovery. However, support doesn’t mean doing everything perfectly. Stay toned while we go over ways to support your child through an eating disorder as an athlete.
Why Athletes Are at Higher Risk for Eating Disorders
Eating disorders in athletes are common for many reasons such as performance pressures and having high levels of perfectionism. Athletes want to do anything possible to improve and this has created sport-specific body ideals. These are often circulated as rumors, leading athletes to feel, in order to improve they need to have a specific body type or weight. Overtraining and under-fueling is also normalized. It is seen as having discipline and disordered behaviors are missed.
Common Signs of an Eating Disorders in Athletes
Physical signs of an eating disorder can look like increased injuries, fatigue or often sick. You may see changes in appetite or eating patterns. Disordered eating looks like anything from restricting certain types of foods or focusing on “eating clean”, but also hiding or sneaking food. This can lead to not eating around others or isolation due to fear of social activities that involve food. Other physical signs are dizziness, GI distress, loss of menstral cycle or sleep disruption.
Behavioral and Emotional Signs
Anxiety around food and rigidity of types of foods or meal times is usually seen. Avoidance of family meals or eating around others and withdrawal. Irritability increases that can impact everything from relationships to performance. Compulsive exercise is sometimes seen beyond the team training plans.
What Parents Often Get Wrong (And Why It Makes Sense)
It is easy to go into “fix it” mode when you find out your child is struggling. This sometimes looks like trying to tell them to “just eat more” or “you need fuel”. The difficulty is that monitoring food can sometimes lead to an increase in secrecy. It is important to meet your child where they are by approaching them with curiosity and empathy.
What Actually Helps: How Parents Can Support Recovery
Focusing on safety and consistency is the first part. This looks like providing structure around meals. Fueling is a non-negotiable part of health and that includes all types of food. Avoid calling foods good or bad. Normalize that all foods fit into a healthy diet.
Regulate Yourself First
Parental anxiety impacts an athlete’s own recovery. I often recommend parents seeking their own professional or personal supports through this process. Modeling taking care of yourself and being able to be a calm and grounded presence can help ease the tension and anxiety in the household. This is a scary time for parents, however managing your own fear outside of the athlete-facing conversation, can allow them to feel stable and grounded in your presence.
Separate the Athlete From the Eating Disorder
You may notice your child’s personality shift as the eating disorder takes over. This is the eating disorder taking over the athlete. Naming the disorder as the problem, not your child, can help separate the problem from their own identity. This reduces shame and defensiveness. Helping support them in finding their identity outside of their sport can also be beneficial due to the eating disorder often fueling pressure to perform.
Supporting an Athlete Who is Still Competing
When an athlete is in-season, it creates unique challenges in eating disorder recovery. However, removing sport is not always the first or best step. Eating disorders in athletes often stem from having their identity so closely tied to their sport and performance. When stripping away the eating disorder and their sport, it can feel as though you are ripping away all of their identity. This leads to feeling completely lost and out of control. Now of course, health is the most important factor and if it is not physically safe for them to be in their sport, this is not recommended to continue. Collaborating with a treatment team around training adjustments is important. Health and longevity in sport can be key motivations for athletes with eating disorders.
When Professional Help is Needed
An indicator that support at home is not enough, can be if things are not improving. If the athlete appears to be getting more sneaky or rigid around food and anxiety is increasing. Finding an eating disorder therapist that works with athletes matters. It creates a safe space for setting sport-related goals, as well as helping build rapport with the athlete. For more on this, check out the article on why an eating disorder therapist for athletes is so important to recovery.
Family-Based Treatment (FBT)
FBT is a family-based approach to eating disorder recovery. This is typically used for adolescents or young adults that are living at home. Parents are involved by first taking over control of meals and snacks. Control is slowly given back to the athlete throughout recovery as they learn to trust their own bodies, instead of the eating disorder. Parents are involved in weekly eating disorder therapy appointments with their child and are coached by the eating disorder therapist on how to support at home.
What to Say (and What Not to Say)
Helpful language involves discussing performance, bodies, and food in a neutral way. This means not discussing your perspective or thoughts on a body needing to change or food being “good” or “bad”. Avoid comments about weight, body changes or discipline of food or performance. This can create shame if they feel they are not accomplishing these changes or discipine in their mind. Remember, curiousity and empathy leads the way. Validating progress without reinforcing the eating disorder, helps remind them of the hard work they are accomplishing.
Final Thoughts for Parents
Burnout is something that most parents can easily experience when guiding their child through eating disorder recovery. It takes an emotional toll. Seek your own support and guidance if you feel this happening to you. Your support is extremely important and just like they always say, you need to put on your own oxygen mask first.
Finding Support for Eating Disorders in Athletes
Serendiptiy Counseling offers 1:1 therapy services for athletes struggling with an eating disorder. If your child is looking for support, here are the first steps to take:
Contact Serendipity Counseling Services by scheduling a free consultation.
Determine if we are a good fit and set up your first session.
Start your journey to food freedom!
If therapy does not feel like the right fit right now, check out our eating disorder in sport featured podcasts with the owner, Kate Ringwood. Kate also runs a support group for those looking to improve their relationship with sport.
About the Author: A Passionate Eating Disorder Therapist for Athletes
Kate Ringwood is a licensed professional counselor in New Jersey. She offers virtual therapy for those in NJ, PA, VT, MD, FL and AZ. Through Kate’s own experience as an athlete in recovery, she brings a unique level of support as a professional. Kate is here to support your child through their own journey to food freedom as an athlete.
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